I’m back with another woeful lockdown love diary entry. And this time we’re fast forwarding to September and I’m back on Tinder (I feel like this is how most tragic love stories start…). And I match with guy, let’s call him Jamie. Now Jamie lives in my town (big bonus), it’s slightly younger (only by a year) but seems like a nice normal human being. We match and start talking pretty quickly. That moves into phone calls and we arrange to have a first date.
Seeing as this is now September, we are allowed into pubs and restaurants but you have to wear a mask if you move beyond your table. So we have out first date a couple of days after we match. And it was nice. It wasn’t mind blowing. But it was good. We did have quite a lot in common, and oddly enough our families knew each other from way back.
Back when we first met and matched he did ask me what I was looking for. And I made no secret of the fact that I’m not looking to hookup. I want a reason to delete the app and an open to a relationship. And he agreed. He said it was refreshing that he met someone else who was looking for a relationship rather than something casual. Remember this detail readers, it comes in handy later…
So first date goes well enough for us to have a second and a third. It’s now the weekend and he’s heading to his mum’s on Sunday to spend the week with her. He’s spending the Friday night at his brother’s in Essex. But he tells me we should do something on the Saturday before he heads away. It sounds fun, I tell him to enjoy himself at his brother’s and I’ll speak to him soon. He does message a little throughout the evening, which I wasn’t expecting. But then goes quiet until 3am when he tells me that he’s just got home and he’ll speak to me soon.
Now, this wouldn’t normally be odd or suspicious, other than the fact that our first date had to end at 9ish because he had a busy day the next day and wanted to get some rest as he’s useless on no sleep. Also, his brother and his wife have four children and a dog. And he’d already mentioned that it wouldn’t be a late one… it could be innocent. But it felt a little off.
So it’s the next day. We’re meant to be meeting up but we never confirmed plans or timings. It gets to around lunchtime before I message asking how he is and whether we’re still on. Turns out he’s made plans to head over to his sister’s to help her out in the garden and then he’s going to spend the night there…
Hhhmmm, again, it could be innocent. But given that his sister lives 10 minutes away in a two bedroom place with her partner and child, it did seem a little odd. I leave it and tell him to enjoy his week away at his mum’s. Thinking full well I’m never going to hear from him again…
But I was wrong. While he’s at his mums he’s texting me constantly, asking what I’m up to. Sharing pictures of what he’s up to. Telling me how much he can’t wait to see me when he gets back etc. But by the end of the week I hardly hear from him. I’m starting to get frustrated by the constant hot and cold feelings from him, So, being the blunt person I am, I ask him directly what it is he wants. And ladies and gentlemen are you ready for this? His message is…
Something casual for now suits me
Something casual! After telling me at the start how refreshing it was to met someone who didn’t want something casual. Now he wants something casual *face palm*. I don’t care that people use apps for casual hookups. If that’s what you’re looking for. Go for it. But why tell someone who definitely doesn’t want casual. That you don’t want casual either. Only to change your mind once you’ve lead her on for a couple of weeks. And men think women are complicated creatures…
You can read more dating mishaps here.
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